Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A conversation with God

Lord, where are you?

Where am I not?

I cannot find you.

It is because you seek me only half-heartedly.

Why am I so weak?

Because you are human and you still think you can make yourself stronger. You must yield fully to me.

Lord, it is so hard...my life is so difficult with so many distractions.

Am I to be but one of your distractions? No, my child. You cannot love me unless you put me first.

I'm so tired....

It is because you do not put me first.

I'm so discouraged.....

It is because you do not put me first.

Lord, look upon all my past failures....

How would it profit you for me to do that?

I am so wretched.

Do you speak thus, so that you may become less so? Or do you so speak that you may continue in your wretchedness and blame Me?

Lord forbid it! I don't blame you!

Don't you? You speak of your wretchedness as your natural state... as if I created you so. Did I create in you your selfish, unreasoning will, or have you done this to yourself?

I did it to myself, Lord.

You did it? Is this a thing past, my son?

No, Lord. You are right. I am still doing it.

You call me 'Lord' and you tell me I am right...yet your selfish will remains, why?

Lord! If I only knew! If I only knew! Will you tell me!?

Will you listen to me? Will you believe in me?

Yes, Lord! I believe! I believe! Help my unbelief!

Will you listen to me? Will you believe in me?

Yes, Lord! I will listen, I will believe! please tell me the answer!

My child, do I speak to you even now and you do not listen? Will you believe? Will you listen? This is your answer. How can you know peace if you do not know Me? How can you know Me if you will not obey me? I have set before you life and death. Do not look for the difficult answer when the simple one shall suffice.

I am the Lord, your God. You shall not have any false gods before Me.

Will you take me back, Lord?

Do you seek ME or just my mercy?


Do you? search your heart, my child. I cannot be your Savior unless I am also your Lord. I cannot force my loving will upon you. You must desire it above all, you must choose it unreserved. If you seek only my mercy and not my will, you shall receive neither. If I cannot give you my mercy, it is because you do not truly choose it.

Do you understand this, My Son?

I do.

Show me.

I will. Help me!

My child, I am always here to help you. I suffered and died to secure the graces to save you. I have given you more than you can possibly repay. I have given you my Mother as your own. I have given my flesh and blood to sustain you and the Church to pray for you. You have all you need to reach me. Get up! Arise, my child, from the dead and walk again.

Dispense with your anger and your hypocrisy, your despair and pride, regret and fear. Away with them all! They are but walls that you have placed before me. They have become your gods. Away with them!

If I cannot give you my mercy, it is because you do not truly choose it. If I cannot give you my mercy, you must meet with my Justice. My child, how will you stand against my Justice?

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